you have never celebrated my birthday with me before.
and maybe i dun wanna hear frm you anymore.
it is tormenting, and its hurting so bad.
i only wished for one birthday together.

i spoke to you again, cuz i cant bear to ignore u for any longer.
i dun really know how much u mean to me now.
i dunno how much i can trust watever you say to me.
i try to believe u evrytime, but the facts shows in itself tht u lied.
i know it is my fault for being so cold,
but why cant u juz be a lil more sensitive to how i feel?
why do u have u get angry..

i wanna get rid of this doormatish feeling altogether.
and its awful cooping it up inside and i cant tell .
i wish u'd understd me.
i have so much inside tht i feel like im breaking down.

ran into a couple of ppl last nite.
somehow they all appeared yesterday all at one place.
D****, A****, V******, R******, Z*******, A***.
awesome isnt it. lol.

Chris texted me this morning, it was so cute.
drunkard girl and drunkard acts he said.
and him too hoped i dint drive back last nite.
and all i can say is im sorry.

my birthday is coming though.
dunno how i'd feel when it comes,
not very thrilled abt it,
but i do want to be able to spend it with the dearest ppl i love so much.
23 sounds foreign and way too old for me.
maybe i feel now it doesnt matter if ur not ard to spend it with me.
maybe i wish i dun care either.
vague as most ppl know me.

im so glad our was such a huge success!
it felt really good somehow.
Comes With Music Media launch party!!!
im so glad to be a part of it.
and it was something i feel so much for.

was nastily injured by some horribly gross person who thrashed my feet and i have problem walking now. it hurts like crap. and i feel like crap. unabashedly balling my eyes out last nite.
must be all tht alcohol tht got to me in addition to all tht pent up emotions erupting all at once. i thought it wld be a nite tht i would be able to enjoy aft working so hard at it for the event to be a success. yet at the end of it, all i felt was hurt, sadness and confusedly mixed emotions. maybe i dun wanna go on, indulging myself in all tht sensely nothingness. i need to get out of this, period.

~tas

Dont let anybody be a priority in your life,
if you are juz merely an option in theirs.
~tas

i feel so bashed and beatened.
dint know tht the feeling will suck so bad.
it happeened all right in my face.
worse than a tight slap across the face.
cant believe how i can bear that.
i know i cant.
~tas

i wanna be bubble wrap.
i am bubble wrap.

i feel awful.
awful awful.
i dun understd why,
so wat ?
im confused wat all these mean.
i duno if i want you to know.
and i know he doesnt want you to know.
and he tinks you do alrdy.

i dunno wat you told me all that for.
i dunno wat it means to you.
it made the water more murky than it alrdy is.
i dun care if im bitchy.
i can feel the awful change in me.
short temperedness. frustration. irritable.
i dunno whyyyy.
maybe its cuz i dun have a job,
i havnt got a job,
i dunno wat i wanna do,
i dunno wat i like to do,
i dunno wat i can do.

im trying my best to keep it down.
i am a Child of God.
~tas

i duno wat exactly is wrong and i dunno why is it tht i feel this way.
i tink you are right and i tink you are always very right..
maybe its the insecurities building up cuz im goin thru a transitionary stage in life now..
trying to figure out just wat i wanna do, wat i shld do and where will i be.
if given a choice i wanna leave.
im done with evrytink here.
~tas