im really really happy today!!
so many "lost n founds" =:)
happy beyond words..
i smiled. i tink i cant stop smiling.
oh wells.. im reali quite surprised.
never thot i'll talk to u again.
after tht hard to get issue.
coincidence really. and im not offended.
but we did.. still made my day.
duno why i always confuse u.

and xin. its reali been quite awhile.
duno if u'll see tis.
but if by some mere coincidence u do.
thank you. u made me smile.
it makes all e difference.
like you do. always.

met so many people.
talk to so many people.
it all accumulated to give me a day really worth smiling :)
u have no idea wat tis means to me.
thank you. you. you, and you.
i tink i can slp reali well today.
not e slightest bit of migraine today! =)
~tas

im seriously seriously duper pissed
tis time im seriously over e top..
why does he always wanna control wat i do??
i reali dun wanna quarrel with him e minute i reach home...
i really wanna go meet xiu n pauline n lili..
wanna go ktv with them sing n be happy..
been stuck in hall all week alrdy..
why cant he juz give me tht bit of freedom..
he juz confined me in my room!
seriously wats wrong with him..
he piss me off real bad.
does it make a difference at all if im at home??
NOOOOO..
i reali wanna go out..
feel like juz walking out of e house now..
im boiling inside now.
almost feel like crying.
~tas

i keep tryin to find my way..
but i never really find e place..
gotta find a reason to wake up evry morning..
its my life that feels so foreign.
i should decide wat tis meaning im looking for is..
not blindly living.. like it doesnt matter..
almost 21.. yet i dun know anytink..
im still living like i wanna hear sweet lies..
angsty and unpredictable.
let it be.
~tas

feeling sick today..
feeling all weak n frail..
but talked alot today..
talk so much nonsense.. argh
~tas

kenneth's birthday!!!!! :) remember to send me e rest of e fotos k!! :)

hair show at the central.. haha my birdnest hair..

it was a zoo.. with poodles n peacock etc.. haha.. so fun!

im sucha narcissistic pig.. take so many fotos of myself..

haha.. cant std myself sometimes..

oh wells.. having fun is all tht matters.. :) :)

been thinking abt alot of stuff lately..
thank goodness not e emo emo kinda stuff..
but its abt e people ard me..
e people i care abt and e people who care abt me..

a few people ask me wat im gonna do for my 21st.
seriously, i have no idea at all..
at first juz wanted to have dinner with some close frenz n case close..
but some person in particular psycho-ed me into becoming all psyched up for a big 21st bash!
and i kinda feel it'll reali be kind fun to have a party..
since it'll probably be once in e lifetime..
maybe e only major party i have..
though i know its no big deal..
but tinking of who to invite alone is a headache..
the shld i? the shld i not? maybe yes or maybe no?
it got me tinking of the guest list.. who wld be included..
wat happens if i missed someone out...
argh!! not to mention.. time date venue ... ??
venue is a major HOW??? so many chalets i looked up is full!
n abt having one party with evryone invited or separate into two parties for diff grp?
im a wreck.. anyone has any ideas..??
anyone wanna help me plan??!!? :(
sad n confused :(
~tas

martin the chick magnet!! :) dun u tink he's super cute?? :)

so many things to tink abt..
had tis dream last nite..
dreamt that we were strangers..
or at least pretended to be...
there was tis reali weird feeling in my heart..
a kind of tugging ..
the uneasy kinda tugging feeling..
yet there were butterflies in my stomach..
tears welled up my eyes..
and no sooner.. found myself bawling my eyes out..
im sucha useless fella..
cant control my emotions..
~tas

im so happy today...
got a hair a new style!
for e first time in my entire life..
i finally permed my hair..
but cuz my hair was bleached..
i did a wooden treatment perm..
it isnt e maggi mee kinda perm..
juz wavy wavy kinda hair..
i love it totally..
but sadly i dun tink it'll last long..
its alrdy straightening itself out..
kinda cuz my hair dun "eat perm" very well ..
cuz its originally very straight..
oh wells.. but i like it..
as long as it lasts..
was extremely excited abt it!!
esp e excitement of seeing how it turned out..
and its red too! with a super chili red streak on e top fringe..
juz look at me.. almost my whole entry is abt my new hair!
haha gonna be putting blue extensions as well..
tink mum will be hopping mad when she finds out i permed...
tooo bad for her i alrdy did it! :)
she'd never agree for me to have curly hair.. duno why..
but i have curly hair now!!!!!!!! :)
give it a few weeks.. i tink e curls will vanish..
sad.. but happy for now :)
~tas

more of bimbs cam whoring! :) haha

theres tis song lyrics..
it says..
nothing tastes as sweet as wat i cant have...
so maybe not having it is a kind of sweetness..
cuz people always want wat they cant have..
maybe thats why..
~tas

Debra Ann n me! 3 muskateers!! :)
New Year get-together :)

"What Hurts The Most"

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don’t bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again

I pretend I’m ok

But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I’m doin’ It

It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone

Still Harder

Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

~tas

u made me who i am today.
i am wat i am cuz of you.
~tas

whenever wherever watever..
maybe..
love forever and a day
if theres a thing tht u need
if ever u yearn for a love
wish i knew if i could
be the one that u want
take my heart and my love
i'd give e breathe tht i breathe
if ever.. whenever wherever watever..
~tas

in a nutshell.. chang's birthday.. super blur foto though.. little Ally.. my darling nicole.. PQ PQ PQ .. my PSF.. and more narcissistic fotos of me! :)

wat hurts the most.
disappointment after disappointment ..
when will it stop.
smile be happy n pretend nothing happened :)
it works.
~tas

im a pampered spoilt brat! ;o
juz became one!
~tas

airbrush thing i did when i was bored..

baddest complexion ever!!!!!!!!!!
my face is in sucha bad state now..
all due to sleep! shld i the lack thereof..
went for facial today.. and im at e peak of all time ugliness!!
dun tink my face will clear up anytime soon..
i cannt go out in tis !!!!!!!! *wails*
i seriously dunno watta do now..
never felt n looked worse than tis..
sighs... and im feeling soo tired i reali cannot take it any longer..
if not for e body massage today i'd have died by now..
still. tired beyond words.

visited lil Ally and Robyn today...
relived my childhood days playing arcade games..
i love silly willy weasels!!!!!!!! :0
and i love Alison! :)
~tas

a few people i wanna give special mention since its like e beginning of a new year..
to those who've been so good to me e past year..

pq- since primary skool.. my dear PSF.. for being e most ahbeng girl i know. e most embarassing person to hang out with. the loudest and e wildest. the one person i know for e longest time. seen me at my downest. never fail to be tht friend i need. ur my friend indeed. u cannot runaway. no matter wat. lifetime morons. my movie-goer. cracks me up 24-7. never a weird moment with ya. someone i can totally be myself with. no reservations watsoever. u rock.

ting- thanks for so many things. tis friendship is one i wont ever forget. no matter how much we do not communicate or share as much as we did before, it stays. thanks for ur smses n prayers. someone always so sincere n juz purely nice to me. no agenda watsoever. e one person i respect so much. thanks babe.

pauline- no matter how much i dint even bother to talk to u in jc. time changed so many things. u are one i never thot i'd be close to. dint even vaguely think we'll be anytink more than ex-classmates. but now i feel so weird not seeing u for even a week! surely, someone i'll be keeping v close to in my heart.

xiaojuan- my dearest roomie! :) thanks for taking in all my nonsense esp when i was at e stressest period. always so caring so sweet and so encouraging. ntu is so much more livable with u ard. duno wat hall life will be without u. love ya babe!

dixon- u taught me so many things. on my own. promises. lessons. still i wanna thank God for u. u taught me e three most impt things in life. u made me realise e importance of not taking things for granted. to cherish wat u have.

XiuJuan- saving e best for last. e most important person i wanna thank God for tis year. someone i wanna be friends n stay friends with for e longest time to come. the sweetest. seriously. definitely, in her own ways. (not one kindest w words) but someone beyond all of tht. cold on e outside, but soft inside. u are one reali special friend i treasure. despite it all. no matter e arguments, conflicts or how much i fall out with u. sorry for all e times i screwed up. sorry u had to put up with all of it. no matter how things may change in future. despite how cynical e world tinks abt friendships. wanna thank u for being my dear friend. i'll quit e mushy bit, not good with words either, juz wanna say, no matter how much life is a bitch, u made a difference in my life. u made it a whole lot better. a whole lot more bearable.
thank u. for everything.

and to evryone else.. who made 2006 sucha blast for me. thank you. :)
~tas

the girls i love! :)
2006 was wonderful cuz of u all.. :)
its like. i wldnt know wat i'd be like without u all.

surprisingly..
many things have changed..
as much as i want them to stay e same..
i know it never will..
while some things dun change,
somewhere inside of me wants them to.

people often contradict one another n even themselves..
to an extent im sometimes e last person who understds myself.
confused most of e time.
e past year has been quite a rollercoaster.
not quite a bed of roses but thank God You've been so good to me.
i'd still like to believe tht the world is a wonderful place to be.
life has life in itself.
choices and decisions.
so much i dun wanna know. denial.

the funny thing is.
angsty me hates myself.
i shall never be a whiny pot again.
it irks me. eww.
or shld i say i must try to not be.
ever so often.

i wanna be cheerful..
be able to laugh so much like i always do..
stop emo-ing abt u whenever wherever.
i'll pretend it doesnt matter. though it does.
wish it'll blow over. soon.

i love romeo n juliet.
i really do.

wish i can say "i wanna spend my evryday with you." :)
juz because u matter. somewhere back then. still do.

resolutions.
stick with my principles.
do not succumb to ways of e world.
be myself.
do not change myself for anyone.
unless because i want to.
perfectoaskl :)
~tas

SMASH was a huge success!!
its amazing how much fun we can have in juz one night!
happy new year evryone!!
Kudos to the year 2006 tht juz past..
evrytink tht happened left me so much to tink abt..
memories tht will last me a lifetime..
and for e coming year..
im praying it'll be a great one! :)

e parties tis whole month..
made so many frenz..
had so much fun..reali happening..
partied so much now tht i quit working..
now im reliant on getting allowance frm mum n dad once again..
life is good. no work stress. no responsibilities to take care of.
no money issues to meddle with.
life looks good.

christmas was whacking good too!
in a sense.. though i was wasted..
had several celelbrations.
i spent it with e dearest ppl in my life..
met so many people i havnt seen in a long time..
finally catching up with e people i miss so much..
e people who mean so much to me..
e people i care abt..
e people i love..
e very people who made me life a whole lot better than it wld have been..
thanks for being there. u know who u are.

new year's day started out good.
and ended well too :)
2007! u better be good! :)