skool early in e morning again..
tired out to e max..
class till 1030pm...
class was fun though..
time passed real fast..
did e presentation.
got drenched frm head to toe..
went to sandra's boutique aft morning class..
picked a reali cute white dress to change into!
love it cuz it fits perfectly!
lili came by today..

maxed out.
passed john e cd today.
coincidentally in a same grp for proj work.
hope it wont be awkward.
makes it kinda hard for me to voice my opinions..
but i guess since im exchange theres no need for me to speak out much.
dreads.

leonard n i were happily jabbing each other in class..
tourism. making fun of e indian guy.
talking abt e girl of his dreams sitting behind him.
and oso e cute jap cute beside me!
damn cute beyond words!
kinda like my grp alot.
denise pernilla eunice n yoshihiko!
more than i can ever ask..
love tis class.
fav smu class.

SMU local exchange SUSEP for this semester.
lovin' it.
~tas

Realise tht my i reali cannot stand e way i speak now..
alot less chinese but too many swear words.
bad. horrible. terrible. hate it.
talked to rachel abt some of e things i need to sort out.
need to talk to darren abt alot of stuff too..
meeting him thurs.
kinda worries me.
guess i need to make certain adjustments to myself.
insomnia getting worse. cant get to slp.
gets me so frustrated sometimes.

why do u hafta appear in front of me sooo many times.
i guess i reali duno how to deal...
affective vs cognitive.
definitely e heart.

meeting desmond for lunch on weds!!!!!!!!!!!!
im sooooooo happy.....
PILOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
happy to e max!!!!!!!!
so looking forward...

weds ktv w pauline n company!
friday dinner with ann debra perry n prabs!!!
looking fwd to a wonderful week!!

my my... and boy does time pass so fast when im in skool..
i remember juz steppin into class..
and here i am now.. almost e end of my super long day in skool...
home sweet home.
need to get a good slp.
feel horrible today.
shivered alot.
hands were trembling so much.
for no reason.
duno for wat reason.to be exact.
feel like crying.
replay. continuous.
too hard to take.
~tas

first day of skool
hectic.
messy.
com cannot log on internet server.
CITs for super long before i got it fixed.
ethics boring
met alot of ppl in skool though..
nice old familiar faces.
loving it. so fun! LOL~
consumer behavior..
was super embarassed cuz i was late.
n she shoot me first thing when i was unaware..
not a good start to e first day of skool.
nat sam in my class.

second day of class.
class with john.
gave me a cd.
super boring grp
not fun at all.
house rules were e ultimate spoiler.
cant even use laptop!
no food too.
tourism was extremely fun.
dechao pangseh.
leonard came like halfway during class.
at least comes company.
awesome grp!
swedish girl, cute jap guy, chatty indian girl and a well travelled denise :)
fun class but it frm 7 to 1015pm..
damn late... so tired alrdy..
cuz my day starts at 830am.
sad still.

3rd day of skool
our dear pauline overslept.
sadly. no pauline for company in skool.
but Jaul BJ ben cheah zz vanesssa all in e same class..
dint talk to anyone though..
juz surfing... LOL
boring day.. hope it gets better !
~tas

had dinner with anton eric n poppy tonite..
had e indon grilled chicken! :)
been wanting to eat it in ages..
coffee @ paragon aft tht..
counselling session for awhile n finally anton becaome a changed man.
haha LOL.
its funny how funny ppl can get..
alan came to join us and he totally brought my ego down to e lowest..
feeding his ACS ego at my expense..
terrible. made e butt of all e jokes of e nite.
tony gf n lili came by too..
well well.. was reali fun..
laughed e whole nite away...
over gays, time, lame jokes n stunts.
the tactic team was hilarious...
sporeans vs indons... over macs..
ultimate. enjoyed myself.
was juz so exhausted aft tht.
fatigue is rising.
slept less then ten hours in 3 days..
total lack of sleep. to e max alrdy.
time to catch some slp.
toodles!
~tas

i guess our mood affects evrytink we say tink and do..
even e same thing when seen with a totally different mood..
gives a whole different feel.. a brand new touch to it..
its e same with different people as well..
some ppl naturally makes ur most mundane day all alive again..
some juz make u feel horrible n sad over urself..
some make u whine.. same make u cry..
some make u smile.. some dunt..

sick today. again. yes. again.
of all e people to keep bumping into..
i saw nol again.. and i know he knows it.
but i guess e awkwardness will wear with time.
sometimes its a matter of getting used to.
or not.

was talking to alvin today abt him.
i guess he's right abt it.
maybe its a pride issue.
i juz need to get it into my head.
he's my feel good factor.
and yes i do miss him.
so wat now. so wat?

met chrys today finally.
she cut her hair so short.
first time ever.
love to see her.
sweets.
gonna miss her.

~tas

blogging alot more lately..
feeling alot nowadays..
guess it muz be all tht thinking i've been at..
books and movies..
wat a perfect concoction..
epitome of time well spent..
so fulfiling..
maybe im exargarating juz a lil bit..
oh wells..

im reading again..
back to books n movies..
like e good ol' times...
but tis time alone..
haha.. its nice spending time alone with myself..
keeps me feeling good..
i wanna learn alot more abt life.. abt ppl.. abt r/s..
enjoying evry moment of it..
i no longer feel needy..
it feels good.. :)
a real feel-good-factor..
dun need anytink else to get me down..
down need anyone to make me feel small
down to e essentials.
~tas

i miss my roomie...
miss goin to skool n staying late nites..
miss all e talking n all e noise..
miss all e nonsense..

saw him today.
nostaglic.
haha. though.
i muz say.
im quite over.
yet i cant bear to look him in e eye.
shun him like a plague.
scramed as fast as i could.
good to know.
never expected to see him.
thought he left for good alrdy.
dint know how to deal.
only know how to run.
wat a wuss .
as always.
silliness gets to me.
fields of gold.

finally met ann aft sucha long time.
had a good dinner.
caught up with our lives..
alot of updating to do..
was reali nice.

i miss lala..
its been so long..
dint reali have a good chat with her since she left so quickly..
angela phua.. i miss you.
feeling nostaglic today..
miss e times u pinched me in class to keep me awake..
remind me evrytime we had to hand in work..
buy me milk tea when i come to class..
drop me home when u go over tum's..
i miss you penguin, lala..

feverish all day..
felt like i was in a daze half e time.
talked to chrys n for once felt e proximity.
she's leaving for amsterdam soon.
gotta go get her a present..
dinner on weds with her n e girls..
she's leaving 20th.. day i start skool..
leaving for 10 months..
not like we dun see her enuff..
but tis time its even further..
n next sem pau's goin...
sighs..

kept taking out ur foto today..
somehow i realise i dun tink u remember it at all.
havnt seen it or take even a glance.
sad, isnt it?
u dun even remember.
oh wells.
its e end.
doodoodoodoodoo..
~tas

darren gave me e equador roses! :)
happy happy happy happy!!
little things make my day...

somehow i reali wonder if tis is reali e end ..
havnt heard frm john since tht nite..
i guess i cant reali expect much frm him..
i shldnt as well..
spent e nite crying over it..
pauline asked me if he's worth it..
but i believe evryone is entitled a worth..
skool will start soon..
somehow i duno if it'll be awkward then..
i guess i'll wait n see.

watched e football match today.
it was reali fun to be there with all e rest..
e girls figured we shld all be more prepared in future..
to bring all e essential necessities...
haha.. its funny..
there was homeng hohon zhi zheng yong n liang can be on e pitch all at once...
its like its a family affair...
how cute...
joy joined our cell n we had a joy ride ard spore..
brand n elaine joined us too..
i love e crowd n e wonderful company...
its so nice! :)
had e rest of e evening having a ten-course meal..
and i gotta drive a huge lexus today...
its sucha smooth drive...
beat e red light n got scolding though..
haha.. im a reckless..

anyways.. visited my dear Ally today too...
she protected me from seven..
we played guess who and ponies...
its been ages since i last did..
and im gonna carry on with my movie marathon..
for like the 9th show running....
enjoying evry moment of it...
its awesome! :)
soulful n wholesome.
juz hafta repeat tis again..
im so in love with movies! :)
~tas

i srsly believe.
i figure e best i could hope for is camaraderie thru my pain.

soulful. words. voices. love. passion. words.
ever renewing desires.
is it human to be slightly dissatisfied with evrytink?
life's hard. but its supposed to be.

its refreshing to be with u. different.
but its exhausting to be a person im not.
memory is wonderful thing if u dun have to worry abt e past.
but a memory is never finished if ur alive.
u can change things. change ur life.

i see the little details in each of them.
e specific details tht move me.
the details i'll always miss.
evryone is made iwth specific details.
i was never able to move on like tis.
i was never able to forget anyone i've been with.
but wats lost is lost.
each relationship gets me reali lost.
i never reali recover.
never will.

watched a fantastic movie last nite..
one of the few i enjoyed thoroughly so far..
loved it.. esp e way e leads converse..
it was beautiful..
watch three old movies today too.
its reali fulfilling.
one good movie makes one whole day worth the while.. isnt it?
im beginning to love french films..
the one i reali wanna watch is "Amelie"..
anyone interested to watch it with me??
i figure if i have more time i'd definitely watch a whole lot more movies..
it wholesome n soulful...
almost makes me feel so contented..
esp the kinda shows with depth..
e thought provoking kind..
i wanna watch a whole lot more..
im so gonna camp at home tis week..
its gonna be a movies week before skool officially starts!
~tas

the more we quarrel the worse it gets?
ooh wells.. no deal.
feeling sick today..
more lethargic than any other days..
happy birthday my brother..
was yesterday anyways..
spent my day slacking big time..
at work now..
its a reali quiet day..
and its e 10th today..
last day of work for him.
hope u enjoy ur hols..
hope u have a great trip too..
its been a rough week..
despite the hols..
and though i havnt reali started skool..
wonder wat will skool be like tis sem..
how i wish i was back where i was comfortable at..
feels alot safer.. more familiar..
man.. i feel lostw somehow..
but working isnt tht stressful now..
closed a few deals on my own today...
kinda like an achievement..
haha.. i sound silly alrdy...
i kinda told him im a silly girl..
say n does silly things..
thts e way i am..
why cant some ppl accept tht..
i dun wanna be who i am not..
though i can change ..
but i dun want to..
it feels so unnatural..
like its all made up...
i dun wanna be fake..
sths i feel so much like a hypocrite..
thts why i love my gfs..
lili xiu pau.. :)
they make me feel like myself..
they make me stay e way i am..
they accept me..
they whole me..
the silly n nonsensical me..
the me evryone knows i am.
accept it or leave it alrdy..
~tas

i dun understd why we always end up cold war..
it worries me. it makes me v upset.
i hate it. but why does it happen?
u get pissed so easily.
i feel so uneasy..
its almost like i hafta pacify u.
n to u its like it doesnt even matter.
i wanna juz walk away. from u.
i had enuff.

i wanna go catch "No Reservations".
u promised we'll catch it.
urgh.. but its gonna be like a month's later...
so sad :( tinkin abt movies now makes me sad.
~tas

its kinda weird how some things fall in place so nicely.
on its own..
n some dont.
so u cling on to the one u tink u might lose.
listen to ur heart?
the one tht doesnt tell the truth?
or ur eyes tht mark the shape of the city?
which can be intoxicatingly liberating.
quintessentially chic.

They insist, seeing u, i stop.
Im the kind of girl who'd appreciate at least a lil time from the guy she's dating.
I have no wish to know the games u play.
My heart's too weak for such things.

I love you, especially today.
You are exceptional not the exception.

~tas

been a reali long long week..
many things have changed in juz a span of these few days..
shall not go into details..

but at least i got one thing right..
talked to him finally..
realised tht there is juz too much to handle..
im reali relieved at how things are.
it was too fast and
somehow i knew it wldnt last.
sometimes he messes with me so much..
cuz he can seem to be able to laugh at n abt any n evrytink..
evrytink seems like a joke to him.
though a big part of me dun wanna see him again
but i want us to stay friends
as when all e rest i tried to dint work
i hope tis will be different.
coffee n movie buddies.
sure hope it works out.
no more playin games.
no more guessing games..
no more awkwardness.
no more assumptions.

was reali happy i gotta see pauline lili n xiu so much more tis week.
plus eric andry n anton too.
reali happy for pauline now.
hope she stays happy. really happy.

went lili's place ystday..
watched chocolat..
its a french movie set in e revolutionary times..
reali nice set n costumes..
loved e whole feel of e movie..
though it doesnt have much of a meaning ..
i enjoyed it v much.

attended felicia's birthday party today at SMU.
pq ck kerrie zhenru n patty too!
HAPPY 21st Birthday my deAr!!
may u always be happy..
love ya girl!

also, i'll be taking one sem of skool at SMU tis sem..
hope its gonna be good..
two same classes as pauline n one with john...
not confirmed yet..
still not sure if i shld take it with him..
might considering droppin it..

i really hope i have toned down.
realise i can control my temper now.
e next i need to learn is to control my emotions.
it seems so impossible.
im simply too emotional..
i need to take control of my feelings.
dun need anyone to manipulate me.
i feel messed up.
~tas

weds.
first day at work at entrepot.
i brin good luck!
DAMN GOOD sales today!!
yvonne says im a good luck charm! LOL!
met anton..
had subway..
been craving for awhile.
butter for poptart.
yiwei robin jem etc were all there.
dint stay long.
ZOUK.
with clique.
lili pau. i miss xiu.
yami soon.
been a long time
widjaya brothers.
emo.
cried.
met so many ppl
loo homeng david brand were all there.
met eric jiahui chris lenard and so many to list..
had fun.
they supper.
home.
~tas

Its the forth day today..
still no sms.
its time i move on.
its not worth it.
psychoing myself.
wish i could be.
evry little thing u wanted.
~tas

been a mentally torturous week..
somehow im juz bad at handling..
shall choose to leave it as tht.

went out n did alot these days..

monday
lunch
dinnner
pq
starbucks
attica
retail therapy
tuesday
tuition
shopping
interview
entrepot
one fullerton
ktv
pau lili xiu

~tas