i wont miss you anymore
~tas

was talking to chrys abt being apples..
somehow it did occur to me that more often than not we are lost or uncertain, confused or juz plain disillusioned abt so many things. i need to have a mind of my own, so tht i wont be so easily swayed by wat others tell me. it is presented very clearly in my face already that it is so obvious. despite the chances, i duno why i kee believing and i duno if wat im doing is right. the fact is that i dun tink i will know. i wanted to ask, but maybe a part of me dun wanna know or take any chances. its worse than falling, its like maybe apples can jump off and it might be a good step to leap off rather than fall. i duno, maybe.
~tas

door mat door mat door mat.
DOOR MAT.

to be or not to be?

was talking to siew by the river, sitting by the river, took off our shoes and walked and dangled our feet at the edge it felt good. drunk. and she said some things to me tht reminded me of somethings that mattered alot more to me than those things or people i really cared and gave thought abt. chrys said i was a door mat to too many people, even my best friend. maybe its a soft spot that i always always succumb to.

i was extremely touched by wat chrys said at andry's and it was something tht meant alot to me. she made me see that a selfish person can actually care and love someone who means that much to her. anton made me realise that for wats worth it could be that one thing that is worth only tht much for the moment. duno why i did wat i did either, but it felt kinda good. not having to worry abt anytink at all. and finally proving him wrong, that this time i can and i will. he said i wldnt be able to handle it. he said that as much as wheni say im okay that im not. and i tink this time i am. surely enuff he meant something more than that. but it was confusing, it was messy and yes it was crazy. but craziness existed all along isnt it?

my best friend and my best friend. my best friend and my best friend's best friend. my best friend and me. my best friend's best friend and me. it always has to be. confusing. as it is.

tokyo opened my eyes to so many things. love. life. like. lies. live.
so many things we can tink abt, feel abt, cry abt, like abt, lie abt and dream abt! :)
love evrytink tokyo japan and i wanna go back soon..

planning my trip to NYC today..
looking up places i wanna go..
but but but then again life is full of yes and no, maybes and uncertainties..
i was quite upset when i heard tht tone, tht response.
who cares, like me, always just goin for it, i will go no matter wat.
feeling upset now. dun wanna talk abt it anymore.

Hongster juz came by to give me foooddddd, chocsss and choccsss and lao po bing!!
the long awaited RIBBONS TOOO!!!! :) YAY YAY!!!
will wear them sooooon!! :)

~tas