I have to confess now, or Serena'll probably kill me for hijacking her blog. :P

Serena's blog is named after her own CHINESE name and not my name. So Wendy, no hope for you either. :P

Anywayyyyyyyy, Serenaaaaaaaaaaa don't be angry laaaaaaaa. Stinky's very cute y'know. :D

AND I LOVE MY DARLINGSTINKY!!! ♥♥♥

Dont be angry k girl? Have fun worrrrking!

workin workin working....
its almost like suicide...
its so killin me man....
i am so totally sick of working...
so much tht i might even be reali fallin ill...
need slp man..
tmr morning workin at my ex-boss' dere..
he requested for help tis whole week..
so i hafta work two jobs one aft e other ...
sigh...i am so dead....
i dun need e money...
why am i so tormenting myself?
darn.. if not for my boss askin me..
i'd not bother man..
can slack for at least half a day...
anw i have quit alreadi..
must tell him soon tht i need a LIFE!!
darn....
~tas

went to work today..
such a long day.. 12 to 10pm
ten hours...

met Xiujuan after work at serangoon gardens...
and i must admit it now....
the password into my blog is actually named for her.....
and Wendy, don't be jealous,
i'll change it to your name soon! :)

i met some new frenz..
wei jie , boy , jumali , terrorist , tina , ryan...
nice people..
but they make me feel so confused...
~tas

i received the most shocking news frm a friend i dint contact in quite awhile..
his dad passed away on the way back frm a business trip..
i saw his dad like onli a mth or so ago.. talking to us..
and juz liddat.. he's gone..
lost his life in an accident frm wat i gathered..
i duno wat to say or how to console him...
he's e eldest in e family with a mum who's not working,
grandparents.. and a baby brother...
he's now suppose to support his family..
with hardly any much education..
i reali dunno how is he gonna take it..
*sigh* how fragile life is...
my heart goes out to him..
hadnt contacted him cuz he had been busy ...
dint noe he hadta go thru so much...
i reali duno wat to say to him..
i feel so sad for him..
replied his email...
he sounds terribly upset...
tried to call him but he was in e middle of sth..
said he'll call me back...
when i heard his voice ..
tears juz rolled down my cheeks..
e usual jovial n fun-loving person isnt dere anymore..
wat i got was a cold and sad reply sayin tht he'll get back to me..
how i wish dere is sth i can do...
its killing me...
it pains me to sit here n not being able to do anything tht can lighten his burden..
i believe he's a strong guy...
but its juz too much for him to take...
n he has to put up a brave front to tide over all tis...
guess all i can do now is pray... prayyy.....prayyyy....
~tas

26th student council !!  

{maybe this won't last very long, but you feel so right, I could be wrong
maybe I've been hoping too hard }

somehow sth struck me when i read tis frm xiu's blog..
like somehow it meant very much to me..
but yet sounded like sth so foreign..
i noe im contradicting myself..
sound kinda stupid too..
duno wat im talkin abt..
maybe im juz too tired..
juz got back frm work...
~tas

me acting spastic.. pic overload.  

jo n me.. xmas.. 

at orchard mrt station.. 

at angela's - me n angela.. 

marc's bd before he went NS! 

me n pris.. shes so sweet isnt she? 

council!! at orientation '05!! 

me peiwen charlotte debz cheryl ! at yoshi.. 

wendy me n xiu! at borders coffee bean.. 

me n wendy!! at bugis 

zebra me n ann!! 

at breeks! wendy me ann cheryl! 

at indochine 

cant believe i hafta work on a public holiday..
when evryone's slackin at home..
well well..was transfer to a new location..
at least tis place is nearer my place..
not so bad..
the ppl dere are nicer n friendlier..
wateva it is luckily i dun hafta work today..
but my manager still cant find a replacement for my sats..
but im juz not gonna work..
church is still more impt...
i cant wait to be in church today..
a few more hrs to go..
hafta go early for meeting though..
the Good Friday thing..
still gotta tutor my lil bro..
sigh..
im feeling reali tired n drained...
been stayin up late evryday...
better go get some stuff done now..
~tas

sorry im juz gonna start ranting...

had work in the morning...
aft tht a whole 2 days of being out..
juz hanging out with my frenz.
met ann yingwen angeline cheryl xiu yvonne bella ps pauline ...
went dancing yest nite...
reali muz go again..
havnt felt so relaxed in ages...
despite the A's over n no need to study...
i've been feeling reali stressed..
over many issues involved...
...frenz family conflicts...
stayed over at lam's place...
barely slept a few hrs n im out again..
in town again.
enjoyed myself...
hung out with frenz..
visited xiu at her work place for dinner..
shopped awhile ..
took e train back with xiu..
duno why but as i went back today..
felt depressed.. feelin reali down n out..
feel reali pathetic..
like i dun belong anywhere...
maybe its cuz i've been all over the place...
with so many ppl all at one time...
it feels as if i dun belong anywhere...
.. im juz a confused kid ...
head hurts already...
like it hurt so much while dancing yest...
throbbing headache...
plus a horrendous stomach cramp which totally dint help at all..
i need slp.
i NEED to STOP THINKING...
im sooo exhausted..
my thoughts arent coherent anymore..
sometimes a person can appear to have it all on the outside...
but yet so messed up deep down on the inside..
sths we juz get so caught up with our own lifes..
do we notice juz wat it means to the someone who needs our love, kare n concern?
or do we juz pretend to not bother..
or juz nonchalant to all thts happening..
i hope the noise in my head doesnt bother you.
cuz it sure does bother me.
~tas

tmr's supposed to be my rest day too..
out shoppin n having fun with Hi bro,
BUt my manager juz called n ask me to be in office in e morning...
so much for al my plans to go out..
sigh.. hopefully tmr will still be a fun-filled day... =)
~tas

didnt hafta work today...
went out early in the morning...
supposed to be at angela's at 10am..
which mean tht i hafta be up by 8am..
but as usual i woke up late..
been having late nites...
cant realli slp well though feeling reali tired nowadays..

met angela n company at sentosa ..
been wanting to get a tan for so long..
juz tht cldnt find company...
though it was quite awkward today..
but well at least i got to sentosa...
my first time tis year....
however...the sun kept playing a fool on us..
dint reali have any tan done...
sad.. a half wasted trip... *sobz*
i wanna go back again..!!!!

wenta town...
with tum n angela ..
to meet xin for shoppin' ..
bumped into many ppl today..
ppl whom i dun often see n havnt seen in quite awhile..
saw Shi Han.. Germaine.. Tan Yan.. Nigel n Joshua..
surprisingly... all of them recognised me..
wow...

met wendy xiujuan angela n tum at KBOX..
they sang..dint join them cuz im goin tmr!!
haha... cant wait to go out tmr...

IMPORTANT!!
i seriously need prayers....
those who know me well enough shld know tht im working very very very hard now...
to raise money for my 2nd china mission trip back dere...
to teach english n to meet e friends i made dere e other time...
i really miss the friends dere..
BUT now my dad is against me goin...
i am soooo sad...
BUT theres still Hope in PRAYERS!!
so pls pls pls pray tht my dad will nod his head k!!
reali appreciate it!
~tas

Don't Cry Out Loud

Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside
and learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall
remember you almost had it all

Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside
oh and learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall
remember you almost made it

Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside
And learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall
remember you almost had it all

: Dreams [single], Blue Skies

been trying very hard to occupy myself...
holding two jobs now...
one in e morning n one in e evening...
come back tutor my brother...
mum's paying me quite well..
brother doesnt like his tutor wants me to teach him..
n im also a more affordable teacher...haha...
have less time to tink ..
my mind wanders less...
feels better...
but guess onli mentally...
physically tired evryday...
emotionally hurt...
been thinking to much... n thinking too much for too long...
...is really not good for me...
must get it out of my system....
be more numb.. more nonchalant...
n hopefully less affected...
im still feeling unwell...
plus a bad headache to go along with it..
had an okay morning in office..
manager wasnt in...
but loads of work to do..
it was fine..juz not perfect though..
cuz i was lonely n busy with piles of work..
e job in the evening sucks BIG TIME!!!
hated evry min of it....
though its duration was shorter...
it felt like forever...
dread goin back tmr...
duno if i'll still go not...
morelike..
i dunt have a choice... URGHH!!!
im tired of blogging...
shall slp early..hopefully feel better tmr..
hope work will gradualy get better... juz like ben said...
it got tis bad.. how much worse can it get?
but seriously i wont be surprised...
anw i tink i complain too much....
i shld stop.
~tas

im kinda sick right now..
feeling terribly bad...
working tmr morning...
be in office by 8am...
its so gonna kill me la..
haha...well well...
well guess it e job today tht got me feeling unwell all..
those fraudsters!!
hate them...muds n all...!!
today was sucha eventful day..
im so glad Ann was with me..
or i'd so have died....

anw had too many things bombarding me in juz twenty-four hours...
almost had e most shocking day of my life..
first it was jasmine thing.. may thing... JDL thing... Nus... sam all..
Debra thing...tht shocked me THE MOST@!!! a real shocker!!
wat a real friend hoh???
but i love you anyway...
haha...

had fun today cuz ann angeline n yingwen really made my day...
love them so much...
they are such happy people..
so much fun hanging out with them...
despite the day not really goin as well as we expected..
shall not blog much today.. though short but i'll update soon..
work starts at 8am tmr morning...
means i muz get up at 7....
im so dead.
~tas

love me for me.

new blog..
thx to xiu..
wldnt have had it done sooner without her..
anw xiu n wendy stayed over at my place yest nite..
finally had company..
been feeling very lonely n bored ..
no one to talk to at all..
hopefully my job will keep me occupied frm thinking too much...
reali sick of feeling upset so unnecessarily..
its not as if it'll make a difference to anyone..
had been thinking of many things...
hate my brains sths...
think n think n think non-stop..
reali frustrating at times..
cried many times...
i hate it..
hate it when other see me cry..
"dun cry out loud..
just keep it inside..
learn how to hide ur feelings.."
thts wat i tell myself all e time...
luckily most of e time no ones ard...
its just sad to always have to cry alone..
how i wish theres just someone dere for me...
someone to just listen to me...
its almost like i cant trust anyone anymore..
cant tell frm who sincerely cares for me..
n who's just trying to pretend..
its sad sths...
~tas

Ooh ooh ooh
I can't believe you're here with me
And now it seems my world's complete
And I never want this moment to end
I close my eyes and still I see
My dreams become reality
And now I now how it feels to be in love
I prayed so many nights that you would come my way
An angel from above to light my darkest day
I think it's time for you to heed these lines
'Cos there's something I want to say
I finally found what I've been looking for
And now you know I'm going to love you more
Hold me tight 'cos it's always been you
To think that you were always there
To be my friend and wipe away my tears
Now it's clear that it's always been you
Sometimes you don't expect that friends
Can become lovers in the end
Only god knows what the future will bring
So hold me close and don't let go
'Cos this is love, boy, don't you know?
And we're gonna be together for eternity
I prayed so many night that you would come my way
An angel from above to light my darkest day
A love so strong it's can't be wrong
It's with you that I belong
I finally found what I've been looking for
And now you know I'm going to love you more
Hold me tight 'cos it's always been you
To think that you were always there
To be my friend and wipe away my tears
Now it's clear that it's always been you
this timeI'm gonna make it turns out right
I wanna be your everything and by your side
For the rest of my life
this love
Feels the way that love should be
Look in my eyes and realise there's no disguise
'Cos I'm in love with you
I finally found what I've been looking for
And now you know I'm going to love you more
Hold me tight 'cos it's always been you
To think that you were always there
To be my friend and wipe away my tears
Now it's clear that it's always been you
I finally found what I've been looking for
And now you know
I'm going to love you more
Hold me tight
'cos it's always been you
To think that you were always there
To be my friend and wipe away my tears
Now it's clear that it's always been you
I finally found what I've been looking for
And now you know I'm going to love you more
Hold me tight 'cos it's always been you
To think that you were always there
To be my friend and wipe away my tears
Now it's clear that it's always been you

i pretend tt i'm glad you went away
these four walls closing more everyday
and i'm dying inside and nobody knows it but me
like a clown i put on a show
the pain is real even if nobody knows
and i'm crying inside
and nobody knows it but me
why dint i say the things i needed to say
how cld i let my angel get away
now my world is jus tumbling down
i can see it so clearly but you're nowhere ard
the nights are lonely the days are so sad
and i keep thinking abt the love tt we had
and i'm missing you
but nobody knows it but me
i carry your smile while i'm broken in two
and i'll know bt you tt if theres someone like you
i'm trembling inside and nobody knows it but me
lie awake jus a quarter past 3
i'm screaming and i nv tot you'd hear me
my hearts calling you and nobody knows it but me
how blue can i get
you cld ask me heart
but like a jigsaw puzzle
its been torn all apart
billion words cldnt say
just how i feela million years from now
i'll be lovin you stillthe nights are lonely the days are so sad
and i keep thinking abt the love tt we had
and i'm missing you
but nobody knows it but me