duno wat am i doing here online...
when i have like tonnes of work to be completed by today!!
im so screwed la..
slack slack slack.. :)
cant have mood to blog but not study...
i need SOme discipline..
enuff said... im off :p
~tas

strangely weirdly i have decided to step out of my misery..
to stop wallowing in self pity n sadness...
im gonna be a happy person frm now on..
i've sorted out alot of things..
thanks pq for helpin me! :)
for teaching me howta end it all..
i will start life anew..
be e bubbliest most cheerful person ard for my frenz!!
haha... u have no idea how im gonna do it ..
cuz for those who know me..
i have been living in another world for far tooo long..
been always so upset crying down in e dams..
my new plan is to see e ppl ard me all happy..
i love all my frenz..
alll those who have been supporting me n tormented by me..
THANK you..
thanks Alex for e dinner..
thanks Mr Roger for e cup drawing..
i've been gushing over it for super long now..
reali very honoured..
and for 55.. thanks for adding me... it made my day..
for ww.. thanks for e invite..
and for weijie-e-slut-master..
thanks for always being sucha cheer-me-up..
always cracking me up :) thank u..
and to all those who love me :)
I LOVE YOU !!
~tas

im somehow a happy person now..
duno how duno why..
somehow.. :)
i feel like my heart is no longer so heavy..
feels as if a huge burden is off me...
i like tis feeling..
oh ya! oso for e first time in my life i won in lucky draw..
todays annual dinner.. dinner for e final year hall seniors..
lucky draw i won 2nd price!! an MP3 player..
i alrdy have one.. but oh wells..
its my first time lucky in a lucky draw!!
and thanks to Mr Roge for ur sweet drawing on my cup..
somehow it made me smile for sooo long..
haha.. too bad huiyi cant come.. :(
u both make e perfect couple...
final year seniors.. sadly..
55, pilot, Ben, Mr RogerChen, Guoxiong...
all e eye candies...
*sobz*
it was a great nite nonetheless...
now all i need is to concentrate on studying n finishing up my assignments..
reali CMi.. duno how am i gonna meet my deadlines.. :(
~tas

today's like e suckest day of my entire month..
thanks pau anyhow for makin me feel a whole lot better...
zouk dint help a bit..
one of e worse times i've been there so far...
flaming lamborgini is not lethal at all!
well e onli thing worth a smile was tht at least i saw joel and dot there..
talk to him despite e mess n crowd!

onli other thing good to note is tht i found a nice place to chill at blue jazz..
paul's workplace.. :)
~tas

~MIGRAINE~
its resounding in my head..
nvm and forget it was e last things tht ended it all..
FORGET IT..
why did i juz have to say tht??????
stupid me.. silly me..

p.s. Anyone wanna go mambo with me on wednesday??????

~tas

i want NARCISO RODRIGUES perfume!!!!!!!!
went out with mummy but she dint buy it for me..........
cuz she dint like e scent!!! :(
SO SAD!! im damn broke now to get it... :(
muz start saving up...

its been some time since my last entry..
productions over alrdy finally...
it was a huge success...
it wasnt totally as un fulfiling as i thot it wld be..
its been a long time since i last felt appreciated n useful..
made me feel like finally i belong somewhere.. and is of use..
put me out of e i-feel-like-i-dun-belong feeling i get frm church..
oh well..
alot of other things happened as well...
many of my frenz are pairing off...
gettin attached...
duno wat i am doin..
guess all i get are lies, disappointments n broken promises..
shall not elaborate more...
will blog when im in a more cheery mood.. :]
~tas

had a dream last nite...
to me it wasnt anytink like a dream...
it had e lil details tht i can rmb..
it felt entirely real...
wish it was real..
it wld have been true a year ago..
its all my fault things became like tis..
dreamt of u ..
wish its true..
something so intangible now..
a regret thts for life.
~tas

vday valentines day...
had fun.. caught a movie with pq..
cried a hell lot..
it was super touchin ..
saw like a gazillion couples ard town..
went shoppin :)
met xiu n pauline at cine..
they were gonnna catch casanova..
went back to hall n found out alot of new gossips..
unbelievable..
~tas

i went on a shoppin spree..
*splurged*
~tas

feeling a whole lot better today..
manage to finish my assignments..
which equals to having reali minimal amt of slp..
considering i had so many meetings last nite..
woke up so early cuz my dear roomie was duno doing wat la..
oh well.. cant blame her..
i guess we juz have totally different slping patterns..
anws. time to do up the rest of e work tht has piles up..
no point waiting for e last minute again..
else i'll be so stressed out all over again.. :)
~tas

Too many things happen in too lil time..
No time for me to pause to breathe..
Im running out of breathe..
Its too much for me to take..

i tried so hard but never got far..
tink im pms-ing..
feel like crying...
i wanna cry..
im gonna cry..

each time i slow down to tink..
i realise i dunt have time to stop...
no time to let me catch my breath..
it far too tiring for me...
im gonna collapse..

i wanna scream..
scream out loud..
but its all bottled up inside of me..
screaming to wanna be let out..
its gonna burst..
like a balloon inflated to e max..
on e verge of lettin go and relenting..
awaiting its ultimate destruction.

im juz stresssed out..
never felt like tis before..
i hate tis feeling

stop tormenting me..
i surrender.
~tas

today..
been feeling all moody..
found out some stuff abt some ppl..
deeply shocked..
speechless alrdy...
e day ended with even more horrifying news..
not horrifying per-say..
more like unbelievable..
now i seriously believe never to trust my gut instincts totally as they mislead me..
vday is abt to come soon..
evryone else seem happily attached..
so many new couples recently..
i always loved happily ever after movies..
ever since a kid..
its seems like its the onli right thing tht shld happen somehow i feel..
lovey dovey couple wld be strewn evrywhere these few days as vday approaches..

am online in skool at lee weee nam lib now..
was suppose to catch the film "Lola" in the media resource lib juz now..
but as the lady said it the "hot film"..
and its wasnt available so here i am..
duno wat im doing..
muttering nonsense to myself..
blogging... n at e same time tryin to to tink of a storyline for my assignment due tmr for craft of writing..
anyone wanna help me with it??
my mind is brain dead la...
totally not working as yet..
i tink i need to cut slpin so late evryday...
seen the doc recently n realise my health is deterioating..
had tis minor surgery..
gotta go back again a few more times..
my eyes are killing me oso..
its a sore.. bad bad bad...
i've been hoarding a part of my life with so many things..
tryin to occupy evry minute of it..
now tht i almost have no time with frenz..
with those i was so close to once..
i almost feel like i dun belong anywhere...
i juz feel like giving up..

fact of the matter is tht no one bothers anyways..
other than dear Jo!! :0
thank u.. ur msgs mean alot to me..
but i guess i cant say im absolutely sad..
i guess i live a different kinda life now.
fulfilled in some ways..
but empty and lonely in another sense..

have not been studying much which is a big regret..
cuz i certainly do not have a sense of urgency to complete my assignments..
despite them having been ard for so long..
but like due e next day..
how slack can i be la..
procrastination..
kills.

i better get down to working on my paper for tmr..
by hook or crook..

anyways.. one apology to make...

SORRY ANN..

if u see this..

im reali reali reali sorry i cldnt meet u...

before u returned back to HK...

SORRY gurl..

~tas