i realised i have been far too childish for too long.
time to grow up.
haha.. e silliest thing one can do is to laugh at herself..
and i've been doing juz tht..
juz wat is it tht affects me so much..
i let my emotions control too much of me.
i let evryone ard me control how i feel..
i need to have a mind of my own. and a heart as well.
life breathes and goes on...
i breathe juz to get on.
its insanity i feel.
i duno who i am anymore..

im losing e people i love ard me..
like emotions, friendship takes effort to maintain..
alex told me tht i need to put in tht extra effort to maintain e good mood im in..
i tried and i put in e effort only to find myself in greater pain..
like in e same way.. friendship?
wat are they anymore..??
lies. lies. and more lies?
fake smiles people draw on their faces juz to get by..
tis so called sociallizing.. erks me.
i hate it but sadly it happens to me too..
like a hypocrite.. i am one too..
often unable to get out of tis web..
its a vicious cycle tht goes on n on..

fringing upset over some things now.
why is e world sucha fake place to be..
evrytink one does has a motive. a hidden agenda.
evryone for themselves.
i want to believe in sth real.
sth simple. less e intricate falacies of life.
sth not so complicated.
juz simply love.
love for a friend.
love for a brother.
love for a kiddo.
love for a love one.
one without wanting anytink in return.
juz love.
~tas