HEADACHE

u became like a stranger to me.
so foreign. so unfamiliar.
i dun seem to know u anymore.
yet again u are so delicate fragile and breakable.
but im so glad i finally got to see u.
but tis oso marks e end.
the promise i made tht tis is The End.
and it will be The End.

there was so much drama yesterday..
an eventful day i muz say.
justin joseph bing and all of ann's frenz were reali nice people to meet..
flew down to zouk to meet xiu and company.
met pauline aft soo soo soo long!!
its reali wonderful to be able to be like before again.
juz seeing xiu n pauline made my day!
was reali reali reali glad i went. despite having to watch people quarrel screaming at each other at e top of their lungs.
saw hanbin n jovin n alvin n all those familiar faces.. felt like family..
oso saw HL803 outside. super cute!!
met a hot babe Yu-en- happy 21st birthday girl!!
and flora jasmine su-en da ming too and many of which i cant rmb their names..
downed so much for once i reali felt i dint tink abt anytink much anymore. gave me a headache though. but it was good.

saw an accident happen tis morning on e way home frm xiu's.
a motorbike got knocked down. n e cyclist was in bad shape, but he stood up nonetheless with hands n knees covered in blood. poor guy.
i woke up too early. now im so tired but cant get to slp.

i dun understd why u came to speak to me out of e blue.
as if intentionally wanting me to know tht my frenz are now closer to u than me. juz leave. go away. dun intrude in my life. dun mess with me.

frenz come n go. its sth i dun ever understd. i dun wanna accept.
i hate it when it happens. i dun want it to happen. i love all my frenz i dun want anyone to go. take it tht im greedy. im selfish. watever it is. i dun wanna lose u. i may seem aloof but im not. i care but i juz dunno how to show it.i wish i can be as close to u as before. but u are drifting. u have changed. can u understd?

~tas

if u dint alrdy know. u were always perfect in my eyes. like precious u were always there for me. thank you. happy birthday :) have a wonderful day.
~tas

anyone wanna watch "She's the Man" with me??
i know its quite an old show. but anyone dun mind watching it?
~tas

i never know wat u tink, how u tink, im always clueless to watever goes on in ur mind. sometimes i wish i know and understd you better than tis. sometimes i wish i can juz walk away. wish i can juz pretend nothing happened. forget evrytink. and move on.

i feel so lost n distracted. immersed in a world of my own. for once i feel tht i dun need friends around me. if its not u, i'd rather be alone. i dun mind being lost within myself. all alone. detached and isolated frm evryone else.

maybe thts wat i need. for a change frm having so many people ard me.
constantly wanting n seeking company. maybe its my fear i have to face. i need to face myself alone. face my fear of being alone. something tht i cant imagine i can take. i shudder at e thought of being alone. cuz i never like e feeling of being all by myself. its sad.

i used to think tht evrytink is gonna be fine someday. duno when but it will get better. but now i tink otherwise. things will not be fine eventually. its a farfetched belief naive people believe. argh.

had a bad bad day today.
you made it juz a lil worse.

~tas

i've been doing silly things all my life. why not now?

我不哭了。
好久没有你， 心也慢慢习惯一个人。
一个人的生活。好无奈， 好寂默， 好害怕。

不懂得怎么爱一个人的我， 应该学着尝式如何用心去爱。

Had a bad day.
~tas

im back to e sunny island of spore..
kinda miss so many people..
left e hse bright n early to meet a few people today..
met angela for lunch as well..
met angeline n ann briefly at their work..
went shoppin with mum..
bought myself some stuff!!
and a pair of shoes frm diesel tht i simply adore..
haha dunno why i feel like i miss PQ n Xiujuan alot!

haha. im mad.
been so high e whole time when i was in KL..
somehow.. it muz have been e weather or juz a different air..
been laughing so much ..
i tink i almost went mad..
high on a certain kind of adrenaline rush..
it got to my head. somehow.
i miss being in subang.
will update more n post more fotos soon..
now to watch my movie..
tataz..
~tas

i duno why i even bother.
i guess i dun ever learn my lesson.
u juz make me sick.
and i totally do not want to see u again.
wish i never knew u.
at least i dun now.
~tas

im leaving on a short trip..
byebye.. takekare.. :)
adios.. seeya all soon!
~tas

Dere lives a psychopath in each one of us.
~tas

exhausted frm working..
but had fun..
made new frenz again!! :) :)
but so much for it..

kinda forced to write tis cuz i promised..
but im super duper duper tired by now..
okie.. here goes..
to my dearest dear dear part time...
i love ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha... cuz u have been VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY (x100) nice to me..
sorry i'll write more next time..
reali no energy alrdy k...
takekare my slut buddy!!
u know my heart.. haha..
love ya!
~tas

us with pretty angeline at her birthday party!!
in e water evryone was dunked in e end :)
on lala's gi-normous darling bed
in e tv room.. before e surprise..
me w e birthday girl!

long overdue fotos at angeline's birthday party :) :)
had a wonderful time with e Bimbs!!!!!!!!! :)

i guess i can never ever understd you.
ur too complicated.
i can never ever read wats goin thru ur mind.
cuz u never ever let me.
im tired of prying.
maybe u juz wont let me.

i dread goin to work.
i have so many shifts.
and so many people to face.
i duno how am i gonna live thru it.

hope i getta play badminton tmr.
i hope.
~tas

been a reali hectic week..
work work work..
but i guess it was all worth it..
cuz i had a time of my life..
an experience i'll never forget.

one other thing reali worth celebrating is tht ANN is back in town!!!!
was so happy when i received her sms today!!! :) :) :)
ANN we'll meet reali reali reali reali soon!!! :)

~tas

found back my love for books.
been a long time.
guess i've neglected many things.
e impt things.
i say stupid things.
too silly.
terribly bad at these.
i like you.
~tas

airport w e hongkongers :)

supper w e japs.
at e band studio :)

At 17 :)
CHet Lam!

nanase at e airport - e last goodbye..
sai wai and us at e grand corp waterfront hotel lobby :)

top- Aikawa Nanase - e artiste i was attached to.. :)
bottom- Sugimoto - e cute manager
my job as an artiste liaison-cum-nanny-cum-bodyguard-cum-tour guide

Chrissy me Jaime Becky :)

incredibly alone.
surprised by myself.
realised i dun understd myself abit.
fascinated by e things i say .
fascinated by e things i do.
i dunno who i am.
i cant recognise myself.
confused by my own actions.
i dun feel comfortable ard u anymore.
i find myself speechless.
trying hard to tink of things to talk abt.
tis is not me.
i can no longer be totally me when im with you.
it happened before.
and now again.
havnt been able to talk to u inwhile now.
i feel kinda lost.
so helpless.

i've come to realise how scary people are.
fake n unimaginably hypocritical.
lie. lies. and more deception.
its frightening how cruel e world is.
when reality hits u.
it hits hard.

its never smart to be simple.
something tht i've learnt.
is e world reali a bed of roses.
is evryone born kind natured.
do simple-minded people get away w smooth sailing lives?
somewhere along e way.
its a mistake.

life is as sweet as it gets.
dun expect anytink more.
fairytales do exist.
onli in books for angels & princesses.
because of tis.
i know u deserve better.

i saw a kid tht looks so much like you.
reminds me of you.
ever so spoilt n stubborn.
silly as always.
but yet tht smile of innocence.
waiting.

absolutely alone.
~tas

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGELINE!!!!
hope u had a wonderful birthday!!
i sure did have loads of fun..
seeing u get thrown into e pool was e ultimate..
hilarious man when u three flew in..
haha.. have a wonderful 20th!!
Welcome to e BIG 2 club!! :) :)
love ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

had so much fun down at angela's..
it was super duper fun...
had BBQ.. cakefight..
and played throwing-people-in-e-poolgames..!!
oso played sporty games like basketball n badminton..
tai tais played MJ till late in e morning n people playing pool too..
it was reali e most relaxed time i've had in weeks..
though people kept sitting on me when i was trying to slp..
e rest of it was real good :) :)

was at a pc show giving out flyers..
it was reali a madhouse..
almost made me go nuts..
crowd made me crazy...
but i met sooo many more familiar faces..
including TING & BJ!!!

work at sticky rice is good. nice people. tiring though.
i juz need to use up evrysingle other waking moment doing things..
i need to. so pls do call me out whenever :)

will be trying to do e artise liaison thing frm weds till monday..
hope it'll be fun.. :) :)
looking forward to it.. hope can experience sth different..
at least it'll keep me busy for quite awhile :)
hope can find some time to visit e little ones at e camp as well :)
argh.. need to slp.. got a shift tmr at 1030...
dying now.. slept quite lil..
~tas

simple n nice is beauty.
why complicate things so much.
argh. so easy yet to tough.
~tas

" if you really love something, set it free.

if it returns, it was and always will be yours.

if it never does, it was never yours to begin with".

i really believe in this sent.

>

thanks ann .. i miss YOU.. pls come back soon..
thanks again :) *reali appreciate it!!*

~tas

dyed my hair..
dun look much different though..
cuz she say dun wanna bleach n spoil my hair..
but it looks so natural now.. sighs..
oh wells.. finally went to e beach last nite..
it was nice. very nice :)
worked at OCBC too.. at the IT show..
it was so boring though..n hafta wear ugly shirt!
met soo many people there though...
among them yongfu whom i havnt seen in e long time..
decheng.. destiny.. johnathon.. shuwei..
gerrard.. jeanali.. jeremy na..
reali too many to count.. too many to rmb..
was working with yvonne ps peixin bernard..
and huimin who i onli know was gonna work with me tht morning..

did alot of random stuff last week..
met up with quite alot of frenz..
was fun.. esp e tourist-for-a-day trip!!
and pq's birthday..
will be off to work soon..
hope it'll be fun again!!
~tas

heys.. juz wanna say a big thank you to u ...
for always accommodatiing me..
for going on wild goose hunt with me...
for ferrying me ard all e time..
for always trying to cheer me up..
for always asking me to slp early..
for giving me advice and pep talks..
for not embarassing me in front of me.. yes i know..
for making me feel like i owe u so many meals..
Yes, thank you my dear friend.
duno u'll see tis anot..
maybe u will maybe u dun..
but since u know tis blog.
i wanna say thank you to u.
u know who u are.
~tas

went to soo many places..
china town.. little india..
sam singapore arts museum..
chijmes.. marina.. esplanade..
had a whole lot of fun!!!!!!

at dome..



in SAM.. sneakily..

SAM singapore arts museum
chijmes

tourists for a day.. :)

happy 20th BIRTHDAY
ANGELA aka LALA e Penguin!!
i love ya loads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my dearrestest friend who sits beside me in class in jc..
you are one dear deasr friend i love!!
have a wonderful birthday!!
takekare n God bless ya always!!
~tas

crazy caleb.. and us doing silly stuff.. haha

council outing pics at fish n co.