when a lie becomes a truth. take my strong advice. to think twice. i guess people always tell me careful what i do but i dun ever know when im doing the right thing. i am just a girl who does whatever i want. and many times i feel like im not myself. juz lost and maybe someone else.

maybe i am the one. who makes it so complicated. khee reminded me that i shouldnt always apologise. but whenever i tink that i am learning by doing, i prove myself wrong again.

you'll always be a part of me. that i know for sure. i cant say forever i will be here for you. i duno if that special feeling will fade away. but i do know for sure that you will always mean so much to me. that time a part of my life. no matter how evryone tries to shake me.

my days and nights seem a lil colder now. i wonder if its cuz its December. do you know its November now? and Christmas is coming. do you remember that time in December? did you forget already? i wont. i know i wont. not now. not ever. never will.

i smile when i tink back, those wonderful memories. unforgettable.

that time in december.

~tas

if theres juz one thing i have learnt is that no one is indispensable. no matter how much u tink u cant live without tht person, tink again. you can. :) and its true that whatever that gets you down will pass. cuz time will heal everything.

been doing alot of thinking lately, should have been spending alot more time studying, but look, when is it a better time to tink. when my mind's all concentrated for the wrong reasons?lol. tell me abt it. but anyways as i was saying, been thinking alot about so many things, what is it about the color of the skin and the different accents that we have. so what if im chinese, was talking to roberts abt the whole color thing, he feels so strongly abt being a newzealander, and so is shane with being canadian, but what essentially differentiates us from them?

it is very true i tink that whites are really opinionated people and they stand very strongly about what and how they feel but it is so different with asians. maybe not all, like he said, white ppl are often given high positions in corporations MNCs and what have yous, and Asians generally slog like slaves to get ard. so much for equality and liberalization. makes no sense to me somethimes. i see the point you are getting at, but tht doesnt mean my point is totally invalid.

sometimes i wonder what life have in stall for me, or rather what i have lined up for myself in the years to come. i feel like im juz running away, maybe for awhile at least. to japan first and maybe somewhere again soon. i dun really like evrytink here now. its making me feel so dull and unhappy. not exactly unhappy but just not exciting enuff. i want to move out. get out of this all. be liberated. to be recharged. to feel once again that life is worth the fight to go on.

at the end of the day, i want to feel satisfied, energized and looking forward to a brand new day again. is that too much to ask for? :)

duno why but i have a sudden craving for many many swweet thingggsss!! jelly!! mango pudding!! chocolates!! jelly beans!! reesebutter cup!!!! yumi yogurttt!!! ben n jerry's!!!! :) my erratic behavior is annoying me too!! like a yoyo-ball crazy and jumpy!!

told khee abt my new motto today!! :) i m so excited abt it. live life like im gonna die today. edge-living life. i wanna be adventurous! dun want mundaneness in my life anymore. :) exciting. groundbreaking. living a crazy life leaving behind crazy memories. :)

~tas

i feel awful.
i'll juz blame it all on PMS.
it true how it always always affects me.
awful awful awful.
i feel upset.
super upsettt.
upset upset upset.
helpppppppppppppp.
liarliarliar.
i hate them.
duno why why why why why.


thanks for being so ever patient with me..
i know i have been unbelievably annoying.
thanks for always being so understding.

thanks for the trip to the arcade.
for cheering me up.
it was super fun.
been a long time since i last went there.
i know i havnt been a fan of games
and i wasnt tht enthu abt playin
and sorry i tortured u to watch sucha horrendous show.
though u say it was funny.
we had to run soo many cinemas juz to watch it.
and for all the effort :)
means alot to me.
somehow.
thanks for being so sweet.
what i really meant to say was.

evryone loves a drama queen
evryone loves a bad boy
is it true?

thinking about so many things right now.
it makes me cry..
and it is making me crumble.
save it for a rainy day
the three wishes u promised.
of which will u keep?


im scared shitless tinking abt it.
maybe its innate somehow.
that i always feel like tis at the end of the day.
like being stupid or feeling empty and lonely.


i havnt felt so disappointed in a long time.
maybe not so long.
but i dint tink it would be now.
i was wrong. so very wrong. wrong again.
why. wish it were different.
~tas

Got a secret
Can you keep it?
Swear this one you'll save
Better lock it, in your pocket
Taking this one to the grave
If I show you then I know you
Won't tell what I said
Cause two can keep a secret
If one of the m is dead…

Why do you smile
Like you have told a secret
Now you're telling lies
Cause you're the one to keep it
But no one keeps a secret
No one keeps a secret
Why when we do our darkest deeds
Do we tell?
They burn in our brains
Become a living hell
Cause everyone tells
Everyone tells…

Got a secret
Can you keep it?
Swear this one you'll save
Better lock it, in your pocket
Taking this one to the grave
If I show you then I know you
Won't tell what I said
Cause two can keep a secret
If one of the m is dead…

Look into my eyes
Now you're getting sleepy
Are you hypnotized
By secrets that you're keeping?
I know what you're keeping
I know what you're keeping

You swore you'd never tell…
You swore you'd never tell…

i realised and i have decided.
never to risk it for anytink at all.
i did it wrong once, twice.
they say once bitten twice shy.
but twice bitten, dun try.
:) its good the way things are now.
im glad and sad.
but it works better this way i guess.
live it. love it. happy :)

i wanna go to sky walk at mount faber!!!! :)

why do i always feel so confused.
so used all the time.
just wat is the point of my presence?
i question sometimes.
it makes me upset.
it makes me feel so lost.
wished it be easier.

hurtinginside.
the pain.
hurts so much.
i wish it be different.
does it make no difference to u?
maybe i shldnt question.
maybe i dun wanna know.
maybe just maybe it will help.
maybe its self delusion.
maybe i only want to be happy.
maybe.
~tas